Confident Questioning

Hey there Noahroo,
I just started my new job at Great Basin Scientific.  So far I love it.  I feel useful and I think I'll be able to do a good job there.  I also have my own office for the first time in my career and it has been so nice.  I'm getting everything set up and organized to help me focus and work hard when I'm at work.  I was talking with the IT guy and getting my e-mail and everything set up early on.  While talking with him on the phone he asked, "How do you spell your name?"
Easy question!  Z_a_c_k_e_r_y
I waited 5 minutes as requested and then logged in to my new account ...which was assigned the uncomfortable spelling of Z_a_c_h_e_r_y.

I've always liked how my name was spelled simply and phoenetically.  I even like the way the letters are shaped.  So confident was I in the spelling that I refer to those "fake Zacks" as Zatch because the spelling of Zachary seems ludicrous to me.  Where else does char make a "ker" sound?  Not "care" like character, but "ker" like, you know, Zackery?  (That's right, Carrie, I've moved on from the cha in mechanical ;o)  )

I found out in the recent months that apparently some nurse cornered my Dad in the hospital and asked how to spell his new baby boy's name.  He gave the spelling and apparently has felt guilt over these years because he didn't know how to spell it then and I've been suffering thorough life with a mediocre name spelling.  He asked if it has caused me much trouble.  "Sure, but I take pride in it!"

I'm never tempted to buy the "personalized" gimmick gifts anywhere because they all spell Zackery incorrectly!  No one ever pronounces my name wrong because it is so obvious how it should be. Oh, and I have e-mail addresses at hotmail, yahoo and gmail with my name spelled corectly, which wouldn't have been possible without a 16243 or something after my name if it was Zachary.  It never really bothers me when people spell my name wrong, which happens all the time, but I like pointing it out from time to time.  It is also a good reminder to me to pay attention to the details because you can make someone feel good or worthless  with a simple thing like knowing their name, or spelling it correctly in an e-mail, or mentioning something they did well.

I, of course, had to call the IT guy back and get him to correct the spelling on my account (which I had to do at Idaho Technology as well, for the record).  But I think it bothered me a little bit that this IT guy spelled it wrong.  I think it was because his question gave the impression that he was cared, and wanted to spelling my name correctly.  Then, in the space of less than 5 minutes he spelled it incorrectly.  Maybe it was because I had the false expectation that my name would then be spelled right, or maybe it was because I knew I had to call and correct him, and I wanted to just move forward.  Who knows.

I've thought about him spelling my name wrong a couple times since then.  I've come to the following conclusions
   - That he indeed DOES care about spelling peoples name correctly
   - That he is an individual with average to above average intelligence
   - That he have average to above average hearing and comprehension skills
   - That he is a Native English speaker
   - That I am a native English speaker with average to above average communication skills
   - That my speech was clear and strait-forward
   - That neither of us was under the influence of alcohol or drugs
   - That the phone line was clear and static free
Given all of that how could the miscommunication have occurred?  I've assigned it to something I'm going to call confident questioning.

I believe Confident questioning occurs all the time in communication and that it is a detriment to communication.  I'm defining Confident Questioning as someone asking a question, even though they have a high percentage confidence that they know what the answer will be.  Here's an example.  If I ask the question "Noah, would you like this ice cream cone?"  I'm pretty much just being polite, or maybe even teasing, because I'm 99% sure that you are about 30 seconds away from looking like this...

The IT guy, in my opinion, asked me how to spell my name, but was pretty much already writing it instead of listening to me.  It can be very dangerous to ask a question without being prepared to actually listen to the answer.  Several years ago I got upset with someone who asked my opinion about something and then got upset because my opinion didn't agree with theirs.

So I'd counsel you to really listen to people.  Ask questions, but more importantly, be open to answers. You never know when you'll learn something new, or understand someone a little bit better, or even just make a new guy feel happy that you spelled his awesome name right.

Love,
Daddydoo

Should, Want, Safe?

We should all want to be safe, right?

Which is why I definitely wouldn't decide to leave my stable job in the middle of a challenging economy shortly after bringing home my third child.  That would just be....silly.

Well, that's what I did.  Work hasn't been terrible, but I just wasn't feeling right anymore.  I can't think of any other way to put it.  That sure made my interviews challenging when the interviewer would ask why I was leaving Idaho Technology.

"uhm, personality differences?"

I won't pretend like everything was perfect.  There were some issues, but it was just time to move on, and it felt right.  And I couldn't have guessed how right it was.  I updated my resume and started applying for job openings on the 4th of July.  By the end of the month I already had had interviews for 6 different openings, and had 4 offers in hand.  All four offers were in positions and with companies that I was pretty excited about.  All four offered a pay raise.  Two of the four had a better commute, and the other two were an easier commute even though it was about 5 minutes further.  I racked my brain for what seemed like weeks (even though it was just from Thursday night to Tuesday morning).  I talked about it with Carrie with every spare moment we had.  Wrote down pros and cons.  What a blessing it was to have multiple job offers so quickly!  I'd have been thrilled with any one of them, but how was I supposed to decide between them?  We had prayed for help, but we were trying to "study it out in our minds" until we decided on one for which we could pray for confirmation.

Eventually (Monday night) we eliminated one of the positions, leaving three.  I kept vacillating on them and struggled to find one I could say yes to and feel comfortable with.  Mom was watching and listening and made a keen observation.

"It seems that you like Merit because it is SAFE, you WANT to choose Bridgewater, but you feel like you SHOULD go with Great Basin"

She was right (as usual).  I had felt for a while that I was supposed to go to Great Basin, but there were things the other companies offered, that I didn't want to let go of.  There were also some risks with Great Basin, even though I wanted to work there too.

In the end, of course, we prayed about going with Great Basin Scientific, and got confirmation that it was the right choice.  My patriarchal blessing helped a lot as it reminded me to "remember the will of the Lord.  Follow it".  Did I want my own will over the Lord's?  Was it possible that I knew the best fit for me?  Could it be that i didn't trust the Lord, and therefore wanted to be safe?  Of course not.  It just took a little while to stop being blinded by my own eyes.  I was searching for what I wanted and spent hours on hours going back and forth.  On Tuesday morning I searched for God's will, and in a matter of minutes felt that peace that comes from making the right decision.  I start next Monday.  I don't expect it to be easy, but I expect it to be what is best for me and my family if I try hard and do my best.

Don't ever let your own logic overpower the prompting of the Spirit, and don't ever let what you think you want overpower your willingness to follow God's will, for therein lies true happiness.

Love,

Daddydoo

Like Daddy

Saturday, July 14th of this year was a pretty special day to me.  Not only was it the day that our baby girl was sealed to us, but it was the day that I got to be in a sealing room with my little family.  ALL my family (as far as I know).  For the first time I felt complete.  That moment was the exclamation point at the end of this long and wonderful adoption phase.
Yemma, you were absolutely beautiful.  Your dress fit perfectly and you were just so adorable.  You had a couple of hairpins that Mom made for you from the goofy hat that came with your dress.  you were an angel throughout the ceremony and gave a resounding AMEN at the conclusion that brought a chuckle from everyone in the room.
And my little men....SO handsome!  You were both quite aware of what was going on.  I hope you are able to retain some of that wonderful memory.  Caleb, you recognized my hat, and asked if you could have one too.  I explained that it was Daddy's special hat for the temple, and you seemed satisfied with that as a response and continued around the room greeting all of your favorite people.  Noah you are also becoming more friendly and seemed in your element that day, happy to soak up the love of your close family and friends.
The next week, while I was working at Idaho Technology, I got the following picture sent to me from your Mom.

Apparently, Mom caught my Calebooski trying to put on my white shirt and tie.  She couldn't resist, so she helped you get it all on.  As you can tell from the picture, you were quite pleased with yourself.  This would be a pretty good story all by itself, but you weren't done just looking like Daddy.  You then told Mom that you were going to go to the temple to be married "with a special hat".
I was impressed with your resolve and happy with the direction your 2 year old life was headed, but I also felt an increased weight.  I was reminded of how important my decision are and how you may try to be like me, for better AND for worse.  So now I will try to increase MY resolve, and shore up my weaknesses, and try to be a good example for you and your siblings.  I love you three so much!  Love, Daddydoo