Dear Calebooski,
Your mom and l had an epiphany today. You had snuck into our room when you were supposed to be napping. We responded well and as we were discussing it we were taught a new concept. It left a profound impact on me that sent me searching for the best way to convey the idea. My search took me back to learning about ancient Greeks, so here we go :-)
Greek uses two words for time; Chronos and Kairos. Chronos refers to a specific sequence of time (this, then that, then that other thing - you know chronological!). Chronos is very quantitative and measurable and formulaic, so you can predict the outcome more simply. A chronos day is simply 24 hours.
Kairos on the other hand is qualitative and difficult to predict. In fact, the word is also used for weather. Like the weather, Kairos can be partially unpredictable yet still scientific, with general unquantifiable expectations. A kairos day would be like one of the "days" during the creation; more of a moment or period of time than a clear cut day.
To consider Kairos in conversation you must consider more than just time; you must consider time, place, culture, mood, and audience. You must soak it all in to best respond to that specific kairotic moment.
Last week your Mom and I flew to Portland. After landing, your Mom went into the restroom and I sat on a bench to get connected to Wi-fi so I could start the Navigation program on my phone to help us get to Ashland. I heard someone emptying the garbage can next to me but chose to keep doing what I was doing.
As I continued working on my phone I could hear the janitor mumbling about people being on their phones and not knowing what was going on around them. "Excuse me?" , I said. "I'm not talking to you." she declared even though no one else was close by. I chuckled to myself and continued working on my phone. She proceeded to wipe off the tables and mutter about phones and airport patrons.
She struck a nerve in me when she started talking about how spoiled and privileged "they" are and how oblivious and rude "they" are. I stood up and confronted her. I justified my phone usage , explained that I definitely did NOT come from privilege , and how I didn't appreciate how rude she was.
About that "Chronos" time, your Mom came out and I strutted off with her, satisfied that I hadn't sat idly by to be undeservedly abused. As we walked towards the exit I regaled your Mom with my story of heroism, even though I had just taken a kairotic moment and used it to tear someone down.
Each morning we should expect to be encountered with a handful or more kairotic moments that day, and prepare ourselves mentally to deal with them. How will you handle those moments? Will you use them to break down relationships, destroy confidences , and pridefully offend others? Or will you use those special opportunities to build love and trust? uplift and grow? show compassion and inspire?
Thankfully we are children of a God who chooses the latter at those kairotic moments. Thankfully he sees the "Kairos" now in the middle of our "Chronos" now. And thankfully he will sometimes even give us a second chance at a Kairotic moment, like he did with me and the janitor.
A couple minutes later I looked around and realized I was going deeper into the terminal instead of towards the exits. I Mentioned to Your Mom the irony that I was so involved with my phone I was oblivious to where I was walking. We turned around and I was determined in my mind to avoid going near that mean old lady as I sheepishly passed by.
Then I stated to think about how rude I was to her. I started to tear up a little as I talked with your Mom. As I thought about how sad it was that I knew there was another human being a couple feet from me and I didn't even bother to raise my head and say "Hi".
Right at that perfect kairotic moment I looked into a room off to the side to see that "mean old janitor" leaning on her garbage can, sobbing.
With wet but clear eyes and a watch set to "Kairos" time I went towards her, against her demands, and gave her a big long hug. I profusely apologized for my behavior, and then listened as she shared the challenges and stresses she was facing that day and at that time in her life.
I know your Mom and I came out of that moment better than we were before, and I hope she felt loved. Now, I'll ask again, How will you handle the kairotic moments you'll face today? with your family? with your coworker? with the guy in the car next to you? with the janitor you see in the mall's food court?
