Dear Kiddos,
It can be hard to look into the eyes of your children, and know where they'll be in 10, 20, 30 years. I think the reason it is hard for me is because the options ahead of you are literally limitless. You can do ANYthing. Sports, education, emotional or spiritual growth, occupation...you could do anything. Nothing is out of reach for you. One of the reasons is because at your age, and with the smarts you three have, and the work ethic, you could become whoever you wanted.
At our 10 year anniversary dinner, your Mom and I wrote down who we wanted to be in 10 years, with the hope that we could overcome weaknesses and challenges to become who we wanted, and with a focus on that for ten years we could surely do it!
So let's shift gears to the hypothetical. Let's say that you had been told that when you turned 30 you would inherit an apple orchard. Let's also so that you were told that the apple orchard would be the best apple orchard, and would be your key to success and happiness if you took proper care of it. What would you do between now and then? Maybe learn about apple trees? Pruning? possible tree infections and remedies? Maybe you'd plant a few trees and practice caring for them so you were better prepared? Maybe even study apple market share, or develop relationships with produce purchasers to understand how they make their decisions. You could be come an expert in all things related if you had enough time and enough foresight.
That was the analogy I thought of during the adult session of Stake Conference a few weeks ago. I was listening to a talk and it hit me. At the end of this life, and after the resurrection, you will be a god, and with Carrie by your side, you'll have countless spirit children. You'll have to know how to love them and teach them and respect their agency whether they choose good or evil, whether they love you or hate you. Knowing that, what should you do?
Could I really do that, given enough time and foresight? I know you kids could. I know your Mom could. But could I? And how would knowing that affect what I try to do and who I try to become in this life? I've learned so much from you kids these last 3 years, and while I'm grateful, I also feel bad that you are my "practice trees"; Here to help me learn how to be a good parent. But I think you three and Mom and I agreed before we came down here to Earth that no matter where we were placed on this Earth, we would find each other, and we'd stick with each other, and we'd work together to help all of us overcome our weakness and become our best selves, and return again rejoicing.
That's hard to stay focused on every day, but I know that we have the vision, we have the foresight, and we have the time. So I know we can do it by babystepping along and working each week to be a little better, a little more patient, a little more loving, a little more faithful, prayerful, and kind than the week before.
Love,
Daddydoo
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
I Will Be Brave!!
Dear Kiddos,
Your Mom and I try really hard to be sympathetic when you are afraid of something, but try to encourage you to be brave and overcome those fears. We've never worried about using nightlights, and you kids have always been just fine with the dark, in fact Noah and Yemma, you two often pull a blanket over your head if it isn't dark enough! We've also worked with you kids in an attempt to help you understand your emotions and use words instead of traditional toddler communication via tantrums and screaming....just for YOUR benefit of course ;o)
At some point, after reading Nephi 3:7 with you all, we used the phrase, "Do you have Nephi's courage?". Well, that phrase and "I was so brave!" have been well adopted by you, Caleb, and as Noah and Yemma talk more and more, you two are following suit.
So the other day when Mom was taking you guys out to the car, she wasn't surprised that Caleb said "I will be brave, I will be brave" but she WAS surprised by the timing. She went to the other side of the car to see why you needed to be brave, and to her surprise there was a dead cat on the garage floor! It turns out that the cat had crawled up under the hood the previous night at Grandma and Grandpa's house and likely died on the way home. What I love about the story though, was that when my boy was faced with something unexpected, he didn't stop, or make excuses; He decided to be brave and move forward.
Throughout your lives you'll be faced with new things. Different things. Unexpected things. For some you'll be able to make the decision to be brave, and meet them head on. Others you might need to lean on your Mom and I for added strength. For others still, you'll have to have Nephi's courage; A courage that can only come through faith and prayer. A confidence that comes from knowing your Heavenly Father supports you and has charged angels to go before your face and round about you to bear you up. Regardless of what kind of bravery or courage is required, I hope you'll know you can do it, and that you don't have to do it alone.
Love,
Daddydoo
Your Mom and I try really hard to be sympathetic when you are afraid of something, but try to encourage you to be brave and overcome those fears. We've never worried about using nightlights, and you kids have always been just fine with the dark, in fact Noah and Yemma, you two often pull a blanket over your head if it isn't dark enough! We've also worked with you kids in an attempt to help you understand your emotions and use words instead of traditional toddler communication via tantrums and screaming....just for YOUR benefit of course ;o)
At some point, after reading Nephi 3:7 with you all, we used the phrase, "Do you have Nephi's courage?". Well, that phrase and "I was so brave!" have been well adopted by you, Caleb, and as Noah and Yemma talk more and more, you two are following suit.
So the other day when Mom was taking you guys out to the car, she wasn't surprised that Caleb said "I will be brave, I will be brave" but she WAS surprised by the timing. She went to the other side of the car to see why you needed to be brave, and to her surprise there was a dead cat on the garage floor! It turns out that the cat had crawled up under the hood the previous night at Grandma and Grandpa's house and likely died on the way home. What I love about the story though, was that when my boy was faced with something unexpected, he didn't stop, or make excuses; He decided to be brave and move forward.
Throughout your lives you'll be faced with new things. Different things. Unexpected things. For some you'll be able to make the decision to be brave, and meet them head on. Others you might need to lean on your Mom and I for added strength. For others still, you'll have to have Nephi's courage; A courage that can only come through faith and prayer. A confidence that comes from knowing your Heavenly Father supports you and has charged angels to go before your face and round about you to bear you up. Regardless of what kind of bravery or courage is required, I hope you'll know you can do it, and that you don't have to do it alone.
Love,
Daddydoo
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Kiss it better
Noahroo
I imagine you know this already, but you are one tough kid. You are only two and a half and you are all muscle. Not only are you tough because you are all muscly, but you are tough because you can fall and smack something (and often do) and go right back to playing without skipping a beat. Your Mom and I will just look at each other and wonder how that just happened.
But you can also barely bump something and burst into tears and come running over to us, crying "Kiss it better". Sometimes I've responded with a "you're not hurt" or "be tough!", to which you just your chin out, lower your head and look at me like I'm totally missing the point....because I am.
When you ask me to kiss it better, and I swoop you up, acknowledge that you fell, and give you kiss, you invariably, even when you really smacked yourself, are able to recover and go play. I used to think that was proof that you hadn't really hurt yourself, but now I think it means that listening, sympathizing, and caring are NOT placebo's. I think they actually work to remove pain and encourage us along.
You are young, but you are already a very sympathetic little boy, and clearly full of love. I hope you'll take the time to listen to someone's concerns, even if they seem to you to be insignificant or unnecessary. If they are crying, it is a big deal to them, and you can be the one to listen, sympathize, care, and encourage them to feel better.
Love,
Daddydoo.
I imagine you know this already, but you are one tough kid. You are only two and a half and you are all muscle. Not only are you tough because you are all muscly, but you are tough because you can fall and smack something (and often do) and go right back to playing without skipping a beat. Your Mom and I will just look at each other and wonder how that just happened.
But you can also barely bump something and burst into tears and come running over to us, crying "Kiss it better". Sometimes I've responded with a "you're not hurt" or "be tough!", to which you just your chin out, lower your head and look at me like I'm totally missing the point....because I am.
When you ask me to kiss it better, and I swoop you up, acknowledge that you fell, and give you kiss, you invariably, even when you really smacked yourself, are able to recover and go play. I used to think that was proof that you hadn't really hurt yourself, but now I think it means that listening, sympathizing, and caring are NOT placebo's. I think they actually work to remove pain and encourage us along.
You are young, but you are already a very sympathetic little boy, and clearly full of love. I hope you'll take the time to listen to someone's concerns, even if they seem to you to be insignificant or unnecessary. If they are crying, it is a big deal to them, and you can be the one to listen, sympathize, care, and encourage them to feel better.
Love,
Daddydoo.
Feeling the Spirit
Hi there Caleboo!
We had a cool experience today. After church, we put you down for a nap. I really like talking with you and watching as your vocabulary grows so much. I asked you what you learned about in nursery today. For the record, your response, all by itself, was absolutely amazing and showed what a bright little boy you are and how tender your spirit is to truth.
"That Jesus has a body, a physical body. and he has a spiritual one inside"
Really? Did my barely 3 year old just say that? Need I mention your near perfect diction? What a great lesson you learned from your nursery leaders.
So I realized that this was a perfect opportunity to reinforce the lesson and help you recognize the Spirit. Teaching moment! Here's how it was supposed to go, or how I envisioned it going -
Me: "Wow, Caleboo, what a great lesson! How does it make you feel to know that?"
You: "Happy"
Me: "Those happy feelings come from the Spirit telling you what you learned is true"
You: "Thanks Dad, you're an amazing teacher. I've learned so much!"
Then we'd have a big hug, and you'd quietly drift off to sleep
Here's how it actually went -
Me: "Wow, Caleboo, what a great lesson! How does it make you feel to know that?"
You: "Sad"
Me: "uhm, Sad? or Happy?"
You: "Sad"
Me: "It makes you feel sad to think about Jesus like that?"
You: "Yeah"
Me: (Oh no! my teaching moment is unraveling! Mayday, Mayday!....Wait, I wonder why he's saying "sad") "Why does it make you feel sad?"
You: Because he's not here with us.
Here I was thinking about teaching you to feel the spirit, and you were so close to the spirit that you longed to be with Jesus. So, I was right about it being a teaching moment, but it was you doing the teaching :)
Thanks for having such a strong spirit. I love you kiddo.
Love, Daddydoo
We had a cool experience today. After church, we put you down for a nap. I really like talking with you and watching as your vocabulary grows so much. I asked you what you learned about in nursery today. For the record, your response, all by itself, was absolutely amazing and showed what a bright little boy you are and how tender your spirit is to truth.
"That Jesus has a body, a physical body. and he has a spiritual one inside"
Really? Did my barely 3 year old just say that? Need I mention your near perfect diction? What a great lesson you learned from your nursery leaders.
So I realized that this was a perfect opportunity to reinforce the lesson and help you recognize the Spirit. Teaching moment! Here's how it was supposed to go, or how I envisioned it going -
Me: "Wow, Caleboo, what a great lesson! How does it make you feel to know that?"
You: "Happy"
Me: "Those happy feelings come from the Spirit telling you what you learned is true"
You: "Thanks Dad, you're an amazing teacher. I've learned so much!"
Then we'd have a big hug, and you'd quietly drift off to sleep
Here's how it actually went -
Me: "Wow, Caleboo, what a great lesson! How does it make you feel to know that?"
You: "Sad"
Me: "uhm, Sad? or Happy?"
You: "Sad"
Me: "It makes you feel sad to think about Jesus like that?"
You: "Yeah"
Me: (Oh no! my teaching moment is unraveling! Mayday, Mayday!....Wait, I wonder why he's saying "sad") "Why does it make you feel sad?"
You: Because he's not here with us.
Here I was thinking about teaching you to feel the spirit, and you were so close to the spirit that you longed to be with Jesus. So, I was right about it being a teaching moment, but it was you doing the teaching :)
Thanks for having such a strong spirit. I love you kiddo.
Love, Daddydoo
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