Should, Want, Safe?

We should all want to be safe, right?

Which is why I definitely wouldn't decide to leave my stable job in the middle of a challenging economy shortly after bringing home my third child.  That would just be....silly.

Well, that's what I did.  Work hasn't been terrible, but I just wasn't feeling right anymore.  I can't think of any other way to put it.  That sure made my interviews challenging when the interviewer would ask why I was leaving Idaho Technology.

"uhm, personality differences?"

I won't pretend like everything was perfect.  There were some issues, but it was just time to move on, and it felt right.  And I couldn't have guessed how right it was.  I updated my resume and started applying for job openings on the 4th of July.  By the end of the month I already had had interviews for 6 different openings, and had 4 offers in hand.  All four offers were in positions and with companies that I was pretty excited about.  All four offered a pay raise.  Two of the four had a better commute, and the other two were an easier commute even though it was about 5 minutes further.  I racked my brain for what seemed like weeks (even though it was just from Thursday night to Tuesday morning).  I talked about it with Carrie with every spare moment we had.  Wrote down pros and cons.  What a blessing it was to have multiple job offers so quickly!  I'd have been thrilled with any one of them, but how was I supposed to decide between them?  We had prayed for help, but we were trying to "study it out in our minds" until we decided on one for which we could pray for confirmation.

Eventually (Monday night) we eliminated one of the positions, leaving three.  I kept vacillating on them and struggled to find one I could say yes to and feel comfortable with.  Mom was watching and listening and made a keen observation.

"It seems that you like Merit because it is SAFE, you WANT to choose Bridgewater, but you feel like you SHOULD go with Great Basin"

She was right (as usual).  I had felt for a while that I was supposed to go to Great Basin, but there were things the other companies offered, that I didn't want to let go of.  There were also some risks with Great Basin, even though I wanted to work there too.

In the end, of course, we prayed about going with Great Basin Scientific, and got confirmation that it was the right choice.  My patriarchal blessing helped a lot as it reminded me to "remember the will of the Lord.  Follow it".  Did I want my own will over the Lord's?  Was it possible that I knew the best fit for me?  Could it be that i didn't trust the Lord, and therefore wanted to be safe?  Of course not.  It just took a little while to stop being blinded by my own eyes.  I was searching for what I wanted and spent hours on hours going back and forth.  On Tuesday morning I searched for God's will, and in a matter of minutes felt that peace that comes from making the right decision.  I start next Monday.  I don't expect it to be easy, but I expect it to be what is best for me and my family if I try hard and do my best.

Don't ever let your own logic overpower the prompting of the Spirit, and don't ever let what you think you want overpower your willingness to follow God's will, for therein lies true happiness.

Love,

Daddydoo